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[Jul. 19th, 2008|08:22 pm] |
AUSTRALIANS, PLEASE HELP ME WITH A SERIOUS PROBLEM
When I was a child, I received the gift of this felt wall-hanging from a relative. The decoration features, from what I can tell, inhabitants of Australia relaxing together in the wilderness. Over the years it has been either hanging in an out of the way place or in storage somewhere. More recently I have displayed it on my bedroom wall where the following issue has arisen:
This is a koala
This is a kookaburra
This is a kangaroo
Et cetera.
Except...
WHAT IS THIS.
WHAT.
IS.
THIS.
Is this what you guys call a- a- a-
a bunyip...? |
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| A morsel |
[Mar. 14th, 2008|03:33 am] |
SPARTACUS THE BALLET. How fabulous!
Under this cut you will also find fabulous
-Fashion
-Frog Fashion
-Forests
as well as a bonus pic of myself and the answer to how much a vulture can eat in one year.
( Read more... )
A Sudden Sway - Jane's Third Party
I'll finish up with some 80s minimal new wave |
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| A Guide to the Miraculous Cactus World |
[Oct. 3rd, 2007|06:47 pm] |
 | LOOK OUT! |
I am at the tail end of a rather short trip to visit parents. I'm sorely tempted to stay for this seminar, although I know it could never match my high expectations.
While I was here I conquered and ate A VERY DANGEROUS FRUIT, but not without repercussion. A tiny spine has lodged itself permanently in my thumb. While looking for advice, I stumbled across this chilling plea for help from a person whose mind has obviously been destroyed by fruit. I can only hope that I will not fall victim to a similar madness. Note-- it was delicious and worth it. The cactus pear's taste is not unlike a pomegranate's and its juices are the same rich red.
I am taking comfort in the fact that I uncovered a relic from my childhood, the Goose Lamp. The Goose Lamp is coming back with me.
I have a lot of pictures to post, but I will not be posting them today. |
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| An amazing exposé: |
[Aug. 20th, 2007|07:38 pm] |
It was not wanting in intelligence, and appeared attached to those to whom it was accustomed, and who were kind to it. When it saw them, it would put up its forepaws on the knee, and when taken up would sleep in the lap. It allowed children to pull and carry it about, and when it bit them did not appear to do it in anger or with violence.I should note that this article has planted a sad seed of doubt in my mind with something I have long considered a fact. There is a section that mentions "the deeply unattractive poet and semi-professional sadomasochist Algernon Charles Swinburne—who liked to slide naked down the banisters—". "Deeply unattractive" is what I'm focusing on here. This is a picture of Swinburne that Rossetti drew. Not that bad, huh? But here is a painting illustrated by someone else. What a difference, right? Well, I've been accustomed to think of Rossetti as one of the more attractive Pre-Raphaelite artists (dare I say... hot?) based on this self-portrait. But we all know how much he exaggerates now. How can I possibly believe in his hotness after all this? WHAT A BETRAYAL.
I came across an old anime about Jesus the other day on the religious people TV channel! Some schoolchildren find a magical Bible and time travel with their teacher and pet robot. I turned it on right when the little boy was weeping after having seen his savior dead on the cross :( The boy's name is Christopher Peepers.
If you think you would enjoy reading my video game ramblings, you should friend ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) sunlit_symmetry. Otherwise stay away!! I'm warning you! Now playing: Persona 3. Let me know if the layout looks horrible or not since I only tested it on two resolutions. |
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| Book 7 prediction: Harry Potter dies of a broken heart and turns into sea foam. |
[Jul. 20th, 2007|01:05 am] |
"Potterdammerung" ahahaha. The Internet Brain is growing fat and sated off the misfortune of others.
I keep wishing my cat was the size of a small pony so I could use her as a pillow. She looks more like Happy Cat every day. She is so grey and happy. What a good life.
I have a new fish for my fish tank that is called a clown loach. It helps keep the tank clear of pests by sucking snails out of their shells and snacking on them. How neat! How charming! How UGGG uhh UUUUUUUUU!
I hope you all are enjoying your summer. Except you southern hemispherers, JEEZ way to ruin the party. Well, I hope you have a frozen carambola squirreled away or something.
I seem to have gotten a papercut in the time since I began typing this entry. How does that even happen? |
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| Excruciating |
[May. 10th, 2007|03:57 pm] |
My birthday is coming up and I ask that friends don't get me presents unless they feel absolutely compelled to.
You can, should you wish, do one of the following free and easy things to brighten my "special day" instead!
1. Post pictures of grey cats in the comments (solid grey, no stripes).
2. Read one of the stories listed here, summarize it briefly, and tell me what parts you did or did not enjoy.
3. Take a picture of yourself biting into a fruit and post it in the comments. Fruit must be clearly visible, i.e. no grapes. |
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| Saucy wretch |
[Feb. 14th, 2007|03:41 pm] |
The tapir is Richard's FAAAAAAAAAAVORITE animal <3 <3 <3
Or maybe it was his least favorite, I forget.
Do you remember this post about Granado Espada? anima_mecanique and I both received invitations to the closed beta recently; did anyone else get in? If so, here is my info:
Family name: Casati
Fighter: Hephaestion
Musketeer: Benedetto
Wizard: Severin (closet masochist?)
Scout: Tadzio (looked the most underaged of all the male character models)
Elementalist: Albertine
I kind of wanted a female wizard to balance out the sexes some, but the male one looks like a Regency era gentleman, SO. The game seems pretty classy so far.
I wonder if I'll make it to the giant lobster enemy
This NPC is kind of scary
More character art: 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
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| Jervis in the Jungle |
[Feb. 10th, 2007|02:08 am] |
"Machinalia" by Boris Artzybasheff
More pictures at link. These are amazing.
Mechanical beetles and other insects.
It reminds me of the spy beetles from The Golden Compass, which were clockwork devices with a spirit trapped inside. THEY NEVER DIE.
Maddeningly cute fruit instruments with wee faces. Watermelon and pineapple are present. For new readers, these are the two fruits that resonate with me the most. It's a tender bond.
I recently received an electric tooth-flosser as a gift that looks a little uhhh... uhmm... suspicious. It vibrates. The product description claims that it is "gentle enough for the whole family."
I guess the unintentional theme of this post is terrifying apparatuses that will ruin your mind if you let them.
To salve your person, here are a couple of songs:
Talk Talk - Eden
The Stranglers - Strange Little Girl |
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| Mercury Poisoning |
[Dec. 20th, 2006|03:36 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | capable | ] |
Today I caught, killed, scaled, gutted, filleted, seasoned, cooked, and devoured a small trout.
A SURGE OF MANLINESS BILLOWS THROUGH ME
I thought the hardest part would be gutting it, but really it was the bludgeoning  As the owner of an aquarium, I've spent the last several years trying NOT to kill fish. The braining was a distasteful job in many ways and in the future my manservant will be doing it.
Slicing the fish really gave me an appreciation for the art of butchery. I had never been personally involved in something going from recognizable animal to cut of meat, ready for consumption. The internet taught me everything. I baked the fillets with garlic, olive oil, pepper, and mint with the result being very agreeable.
In other news, there exists a girls' erotic computer game titled Butlers ~Attend to Your Mistress~ (original plus sleazier expansion disc). It's about time someone made a dating sim where you can romance a footman.
It also features the most restrained blowjob scene I have ever encountered. |
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| Astronaut Nonsense |
[Dec. 9th, 2006|10:55 pm] |
TONIGHT I SAW SOMETHING GO INTO SPACE!
TONIGHT I SAW SOMETHING GO INTO SPACE!
Wowww, the Space Coast lived up to its name today. The Discovery BLASTED OFF and colored half the sky red and orange like a second sunset. The spacecraft shot up past the cover of clouds, then the two smaller fuel tanks detached and began drifting downward, making their way to the ocean. They reminded me of cigarette tips in the dark.
Makes me think of the old space luaus of yore.
For those of you in the Granado Espada wait, it looks like the closed beta is getting pushed back to January. Blah. This site did a bit on the different classes so you can start planning your team or "family" at least.
I will be in Gainesville from December 23-27, so if anyone wants to get together, that's the time!
I've just invented a new drink involving commonly found supermarket items (in honor of the space launch). It tastes very bad. I'm drinking all of it. This is nothing compared to astronaut training. |
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| Fancy Lads and Fabulous Feats of Derring-do |
[Dec. 6th, 2006|01:44 am] |
A former member of the Illuminati has brought an up-and-coming online game called Granado Espada to my attention. This MMORPG is noteworthy because everyone seems to agree that it is all about being fancy. I've signed up for the English closed beta which (so the rumor goes?) starts late this month. So visit this page and click on the purple bubble to submit your e-mail if you want to try it out with me!
Lots more pretty--
Screenshots and renders: 1 2 3 4
Concept art: 1 2 3 4 5 6 woah cleavage!
What era is this supposed to take place in? Who cares!
I would play any game that had this man in it.
I was reading up on crab care last night because I was thinking hermit crabs might make a good pet. I'm not sure yet how I feel about pets with pincers. One of my old grasshoppers pinched me once with its mandibles and I was a little traumatized. I'm just glad there are no coconut crabs around. As the name suggests, they are mighty enough to split open coconuts and harvest their fleshy innards. The stuff of nightmares :O |
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| Things called by their right names |
[Nov. 28th, 2006|01:08 am] |
NO!
NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!
The Day the Clown Cried
Finally a livejournal community I can endorse.
Life on the coast has been treating me well (don't worry, I'll still be back to say my goodbyes). Last night I ate dinner with Richard near the beach, where I was invigorated by gusts of salt air that came sweeping in over the dark ocean. Full of life and manliness! Our only other companion was a fellow in a car who circled the beach entrance for some reason, paused to belt out part of a Eurythmics song, then left just as mysteriously.
Today I read out by a canal and was visited by many kinds of wildlife. There were dirty pelicans clumsily flopping around for dirty fish, as well as a small, heron-like creature that tiptoed along on spindly legs, looking embarrassed to be a bird. I heard a great "SPOOOOSH" at one point and looked up to see a dolphin clearing its blowhole about 25 feet away. How boorish! |
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| OBJECTION |
[Nov. 19th, 2006|04:40 pm] |
This unsettling screenshot is from a BURGER KING game for the Xbox and Xbox 360 titled Sneak King. The game reportedly costs $3.99 with the purchase of a value meal. Burger King is all about value. Some kind of racing title and a bumper car game called Big Bumpin' are also available.
ON SALE NOV 19 THAT MEANS ON SALE TODAY!!
I personally don't have either system, but if you do... Don't pass this up. That's all I can say.
Just to make this completely about video games, I've been playing Phoenix Wright and Animal Crossing: Wild World recently. Phoenix Wright makes my heart flutter with passion. I recommend it to everyone I know and wish I had been able to play it sooner. I don't think I can use Animal Crossing with my wireless network right now, but once I move I'll post my friends code or whatever. Please visit Russia!
My favorite resident is a black cat named Kiki. She really loves clothes, meow!
What a waste of time. |
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| Surprised by Fruit |
[Oct. 23rd, 2006|06:32 pm] |
Hello, Muffin Beach, hello Banana River! I will be moving to Melbourne, land of fruit and plenty.
I made this wallpaper in celebration.
Links:
I'LL EAT MY HAT
What comes in a box?
Mother had crackers in a box. The crackers were not:
a. food b. cubesA bug is on the lug. Is the lug like a cube now?
a. Yes b. No A man ran into a van. Is the van like a cube now?
a. Yes b. No |
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| Nature alert!!!!!!! |
[Oct. 20th, 2006|10:27 pm] |
Tonight I ate dinner in a small teriyaki restaurant. One of the cooks was discussing necromancy with his co-worker in the back.
Let's ease the blow with some pictures of nature.
( Click here if you like limestone sinkholes ) |
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| The Discerning Eye |
[Oct. 5th, 2006|11:02 pm] |
My dad found this adolescent squirrel squirming around in the house rain gutter, so we kept it for a short while and then let it go somewhere that wasn't the gutter (But it ran back in anyway. Maybe that's where its squirrel nest is). I don't really like squirrels, but this is an exception. So cute!
Well, well. It looks like Richard and I will end up moving to either Ft. Lauderdale or Melbourne (FL). This is wonderful because I won't need to worry about being cold (a great worry of mine).
You may as well watch the show about the Chevalier d'Eon. I've only seen one episode so far, but I bet it is good. I STAKE MY REPUTATION ON IT.
"The Chevalier Charles-Geneviève-Louise-Auguste-André-Thimothée d'Eon,after a distinguished career as a soldier, diplomat, and secret agent for the Government of King Louis XV of France, told the world that he was a woman who had disguised herself as a man. But d'Eon was lying. In fact he was a man pretending to be a woman who was now admitting to be a man."
He was also a Freemason! Come on, watch this shit! It's got talking skulls!
Several friends and I went to a Korean karaoke place that I had never heard of before. They had private rooms and occasionally brilliant music. I ended up singing Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport and Emerald Sword. It was great fun, and I'm sorry to see the group parting ways further. Rachel and I need to start our own folk song cover band someday <3
This picture is dedicated to Lis. |
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| THE TALE OF PASTE AND WATER |
[Oct. 5th, 2006|09:54 pm] |
THE TALE OF PASTE AND WATER
Paste lived in a tree
Water lived in the sea.
Paste is for you
Water is for me.
~Anonymous |
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| Jervis Gets His Jollies |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|04:11 pm] |
I went to the fabric store this weekend and found this in a pattern catalog:
The title was "MEN OF CYBERSPACE" and seeing it made me reel like a hard slap on the face. Check out the female version as well. I see some midriff!
I went to an event at the Natural History Museum under the impression that it was a mollusk themed lecture and dinner, tropical attire requested. It turned out to be about the coral reef in general, but still with plenty of special attention paid to mollusks. I fangirled over banana slugs. Supposedly my parents always go to these things and bring home a lot of leftover hors d'oeuvres, those vultures.
My new feminine products have pull-off stickers that say "Have a Happy Period!" on them in swirly letters. N-NO! I refuse! GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM CABINET. |
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| Jaunty in August |
[Aug. 21st, 2006|03:37 pm] |
Nothing makes the day pass faster than reading about THE MURDER CASTLE OF H.H. HOLMES. Also Richard Chase, who was pretty O_O
"He earned the nickname The Vampire of Sacramento because he drank the blood of his victims and ate their internal organs. He did this as part of a delusion that he needed to prevent Nazis from turning his blood into powder via poison they had planted beneath his soap dish."
"He asked Ressler to give him access to a radar gun, with which he could apprehend the Nazi UFOs, so that the Nazis could stand trial for the murders. He also handed Ressler a large amount of macaroni and cheese which he had been hoarding in his pants pockets, believing that the prison officials were in league with the Nazis and attempting to kill him."
--He looks pretty scene in that picture, doesn't he?
--Those excerpts were the only funny part of that article :(
--I'm getting rather paranoid now. |
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| Slop-monger |
[Aug. 18th, 2006|05:36 pm] |
 | Snakes on an html table. |
Snakes on a Plane was everything I could have hoped for and more!
Yeah, I'm still in Gainesville somehow.
( HGHGLURGH PICS OF MY CAT 8D (and fishtank) )
Oh yeah, I've been reading LJ on a worksafe friends filter, so I might not see some of your entries if you have particularly naughty journals. I've been trying to catch up individually, but I may miss stuff. Amusingly enough, some people like winzig slipped through before I got it all ironed out. Whoops! |
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| DEADLY FOLIAGE |
[Jul. 6th, 2006|12:54 pm] |
When we last left our hero, he was lounging in the Count of Monte Cristo's spaceship, clothed in a flimsy dressing-gown and smoking a giant hookah.
*leers at the reader*
I am so tired. One of the last things I remember last night is the sight of Richard lifting my cat high above his head and walking methodically around the room to let her sniff the air vents and fan blades. Both of them looked very determined.
I've found a site with terrifying wallpaper:
I think it's seared into my brain now. Does it clash with my fish?
The Count of Monte Cristo In Space has taught me that one may be attracted to bizarre floral patterns and still be manly. |
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| Chattering mandibles |
[Jun. 21st, 2006|11:05 pm] |
Kraft Easy-Mac recently changed its recipe to make the cheese less gritty. I liked the gritty cheese better :(
I had a smutty dream where I was a gay Victorian schoolboy abducted by a handsome magician in a carriage. Thanks, brain.
So here is a short rant for you. There is this man who walks a pair of mastiff dogs along the same route I use to get from my home to the bus. They leave enormous FOUL OFFERINGS all along this sidewalk, occasionally on the sidewalk itself. There must be like a year's worth of accumulated shit on this path. It smells terrible off and on the entire time. Now this is a pretty quick walk, only 6 minutes each way-- not too much to worry about, right? Then I thought about how 12 minutes a day comes to 60 minutes a week (only counting weekdays)... that's four hours total of dog shit I've smelled in a month. The thought of it is driving me mad.
Some pictures for you to see:
A homemade advertisement attempts to inspire confidence and fails
Manly trio eating manwich
Sock garters
The Maw
Young man reclining |
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| I'll make a snack of you |
[Jun. 6th, 2006|10:09 pm] |
My computer speakers gave up in disgust yesterday while in the midst of disco. They were probably already weakened by my usual 80s drivel. Take this song, I wash my hands of it. You may as well have this one too (unrelated).
I have a job now working for the internet! This is better than I could have expected. To give you an idea of the work environment, almost everyone there plays World of Warcraft.
L
O
N
G
C
A
T
S
!
comparison by anima_mecanique |
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| A callow lad's abrupt awakening |
[Apr. 26th, 2006|10:14 pm] |
H- HEY!
I'm a college graduate now!
After four years of higher education, I still feel unsettlingly ignorant. Oh well, learning shouldn't have to stop now. The real world scares me a bit too. I will be leaving this fair city at the end of the summer for PARTS UNKNOWN and I don't think any place really awesome is going to hire me knowing that I'll be gone in just a few months. In the meantime I will be performing menial tasks for little pay.
MY LIFE WILL BE CONSIDERABLY LESS EXCITING THAN THIS:
I DON'T CARE IF IT RUINS YOUR FRIENDS PAGE |
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| I'm Hans the poacher tried and true/And you'll be a woman when I'm through <3 |
[Apr. 22nd, 2006|11:15 pm] |
My goodness, how callous I've been! To post 7 times in one month and then not at all in the next. I'm sure some of you are just shriveling away in chefkatsuya withdrawal. If only I had posted less in March-- but no, that's just not possible.
In my defense, I have been very busy with school projects. Last summer a friend went to Japan and brought back an energy drink that she assured me was very powerful. I decided then and there to save it for my last finals week of college so it would not be squandered. Well, I took it Thursday and ended up not feeling tired for the next 36 hours or so, despite having slept maybe seven hours total the two days prior. Then immediately after, my brain felt like it had been replaced by cotton and lead. Oh boy!
Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in a few bizarre commercials for the thing back in the 90s.
I want to be a passionate young [manly] conductor, but I'm afraid I'm not Slavic enough. |
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| A Platter of Trouts Is Offered to You. To Refuse Would Be Gauche. |
[Mar. 31st, 2006|08:34 pm] |
I've made an OBJET D'ART. Inspired by a digital picture frame I saw in a technology magazine that pulls pictures from the internet and updates itself automatically based on the user's specified interests.
"WE-HE-ELLL," I thought. "That is a neat idea, and I can avoid the disgusting price tag by resizing pictures already on my hard drive and setting them in a cheap frame myself." Here are the classy results:
( OBJET D'ART )
Also today's update contains the special feature "Romping With Woolly"
Why is this small cat so astonished? FIND OUT NOW.
( Romp Romp Romp-- Many pictures ) |
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| Balakirev insisted, Tchaikovsky resisted |
[Mar. 18th, 2006|11:50 pm] |
OH MY GODDDD, ORCHESTRA. Oh, darling Russians.
I just got back from seeing the Russian National Orchestra. It's a good thing I was born when I was or I might've been one of those ladies who went to Liszt concerts and swooned. How shameful! They performed a triple Tchaikovsky strike, starting with Piano Concerto No. 1 in D Flat Minor, continuing on with the MANFRED SYMPHONY, and finishing with an encore piece from The Nutcracker.
MANFRED! 10 out of 10 dead Romantic poets approve.
The conductor had kind of a Professor Snape thing going. Olga, you're late! 5 points from the woodwinds! |
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| Beastly visage |
[Mar. 8th, 2006|09:28 pm] |
I got a cat yesterday! I seem to have named her Woolly. She is a little over a year old and very good natured.
My mom told me some birthdays ago that when I was settled in a place that allowed pets, she would gift me with a pair of kittens. Well, I ended up asking for an adult cat because you can get a better sense of their personality when they are older, and I felt better about adopting a cat from the shelter than buying from a random place.
 
So far she has been a darling beast! Such a clever animal!
Bonus: A picture of my dad holding a giant tuber that he dug up from the yard. He was very pleased with himself. |
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For the first time since last summer's Manwich eating competition, I have dared to eat Manwich. For the longest time even the mention of the word was enough to affect me, true testament to the power and glory of Manwich.
